After this little episode of a cute little girl having her first impression of "older" people... I have been thinking of what she said "you're married"...
Why am I not married? I have lots of answers for this question. I have been proposed to by 3 different people, one of which actually proposed on 3 separate occasions. This being said, I came to find out none of these men were right for me in the long run. None of them were my soul-mate. The Lord at some point revealed to me that they just were not "THE ONE." So why even continue those relationships? I didn't, which is why I am still single. I'm in love with the Lord right now, and I'm waiting for His leading in the matters of the heart. I have all faith that when He does allow "The One" into my life, He will reveal to me somehow that he is the one.... the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with, who I will hopefully, Lord willing grow old with. I know that because I have had faith in the Lord, and left it all up to His timing and His will, I will love that person more than if I was to have just married anyone out of my choices in the past.
I have had people ask me out throughout the years, and I've wanted to date them, but with inside me I couldn't say yes. Because I knew from the Lord's leading and feelings on this matter, those men weren't good for me, or right for me. The Lord has yet to bring me the one, that I know of....
I met a man the other day, he asked me out on a date, and he was one of those men that is "perfect." I within myself would have loved to go, get to know him, see where it leads. But I have had enough experience in my life to know that.. When I put my love life into my own hands, the end result is always the same, and I'm back where I started from, with a broken, hurt, and bruised heart, some great memories, but enough bad ones for me to know better than to be back in that relationship. Then there is the healing process that we all have to go through...
The Healing process: one reason why I feel like so many woman don't even want to be with someone anymore, because of all the trouble and problems relationships cause. The drama, the never ending psychological factor of trying to figure out: what he's thinking, why doesn't he call, why doesn't he return my texts, does he really care? all these are the questions that could drive anyone in their right mind crazy. The answers are simple: You don't ever REALLY want to know what a man is thinking. He doesn't call sometimes because he's working, he might be thinking about it or you but really can't get away to make that call in the middle of the day. He isn't texting you back right now because, he's at work, in a meeting, or just really busy, he'll text when he CAN. Of course he cares, if he didn't he wouldn't waste his time putting any effort into a relationship with you, he would NEVER call, NEVER write, ALWAYS ignore, and treat you like you DON'T exist.
Women: we are the most needy creatures in the entire universe. WE NEED ATTENTION! I have a couple male friends that are the same way, needy, always needing the attention on them, not knowing why so and so isn't responding... We think the world revolves around us, and sometimes it does, OUR world at least does. I only joke when I say "the world revolves around me, didn't you know?" all my really good friends know this :). The world does not revolve around one specific person. Wouldn't that be weird?? I have learned to just LET EVERYTHING GO... You can not control everything. One person should not be able to ever control everything, that would be horrible. If you let things go eventually you'll get your answers, they may not be the ones you wanted or expected but the end result is always going to be what it was supposed to be in the end, because EVERYTHING is in God's hands. If you stop trying to control every detail in your life, you will live a much happier, enjoyable, stress free life.
With all those things said. I have given my love life to God to take care of. I have been single for 3 years now, of which is by choice. Not that I like being single, no one likes being alone. It's just better right now to just trust in the Lord with all my heart and love Him over and above all else (which is something that will not change), it's something I have had to learn and spend time doing. I am waiting on the Lord to reveal and bring me my husband. Until then, I don't want to have a relationship with anyone, that is more than just friends. The Lord, that I love with all my heart is the one true husband to me right now. I talk to Him moment by moment, day by day, He is my best friend, He know's my heart, He knows all the desires of my heart, and He will grant me what is His will for me in His timing. For His timing is perfect in every way. Though I am an impatient person sometimes, the Lord is teaching me how to be patient.
Someday God will give me what is mine. I have Faith!
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