Conversations of "old crazy lady!"

While at work the other day....

I was taking my client out to run errands, we had been out for about 5 hrs! Christmas shopping, running normal errands. It was approaching that time to go home for the day and I was ready to be off work for the day. I look over at said client and said, "okay where to next?" She gives me some sort of direction. Half way there she looks at me and says "where are we, where have you taken us?" I laugh and say: "you told me we were going to Starbucks for gift cards next." In reply: "no, no we should be going in that direction!" She points thinking I'm gonna be able to see this out of the corner of my eye, while driving. Shaking my head I repeat: "where to?" She says "turn around we are going the wrong way." In reply, I say "but there is a comedian in my way.. Lol.. Whoops I mean a median!" This ends in a fit of laughter and she replies. "Wow! Those CROWDS look like there is a storm a brewin'!" This starts a up another fit of laughter, and she can't help it and says: "wow! And I thought I was the crazy old lady on drugs..."

I can't help but love my job and the "old crazy ladies on drugs" I get to take care of. It is a joy to spend time with someone that shows you respect and chats your ear off daily. God has blessed me with the best! What more could a woman ask for?

Moving

So, since April I have moved 8 times!! If you calculate it correctly; that's about once a month, and you would be correct with that calculation. I have moved from place to place about once a month, give or take a few weeks. That's even moving from one state to all the way across country!

IM SO SICK OF MOVING

I just want a place to live and settle down in for at least 6 months... That's all I'm asking, just 6 months. Is that TOO much to ask?

I have a great full time job! I take care of people, Literally! I go to someone else's house, I help them with anything and everything that they could possibly want to do that day... It's called being a "Caregiver." I LOVE my job! It's my favorite job thus far, and I work for a awesome company. i just need a place to live, so I can keep this job that I love so much.

So I ask, God where do You want me to live?

A trip across country-Georgia to California

The drive to California with my little brother was somewhat of an adventure. We started driving the afternoon of June 21st to head to our parents in Big Bear, California. The plan wasn't to drive straight thru at the beginning, but low and behold Matthew my brother just wanted to get to the destination! I brought my mechanic/brother with me for a very good reason, best travel companion ever :), or rather someone to fix my auto if anything should happen! Hehe! Being prepared for something that might not happen, but the possibility of it happening... is one of my strong suits! We did end up breaking down in New Mexico! Where it just so happened someone we know's brother lives in the town we broken down in!! Some may call it "fate," I call it a "God-thing." After having driven about 1600 miles, we were stuck in the desert! In the middle of the HOT, 12pm, 110 degree weather, 24 hrs of driving, and no sleep!! And now having to diagnose the car problems, purchase all the supplies, and install everything, just to find out that wasn't what was causing the problem. He started with the cheapest problem and continued to the most expensive! Changed the distributor cap, spark plugs, and fuel pump. It ended up being the fuel pump that was the problem! It took awhile, but Matthew finally figured it out. It took around 12hrs (from break down to fixed car) to get back on the road to our final destination. We were at Auto Zone purchasing supplies and using their tools, and they closed right as he finished fixing the car, it was amazing timing!! With my mechanic brother sleeping in the seat next to me at 12am, finally! I drove almost the remaining 600 miles right up until my brother woke up, he said I looked at him and said "I'm not going to make it up the mountain." we switched drivers, and I immediately fell asleep! He drove the remaining 60 miles to my parents house. We arrived early saturday morning June 23rd. Estimated trip time: 41hrs. when it should have only taken 34hrs, with no breakdown. The Lord truly was watching over us!

Such an adventure, and a great couple days spent with my awesome little brother! Though there we "mishaps" along the way, I had fun :)

Seeing blue lights in your review mirror

On my way to the Lord's Table this morning, I got pulled over. My thoughts... "great, something else I can't afford right now! Satan is really trying hard to get me down..."
He was just letting me know my brake lights are faint and I should get them checked out.

Later on when driving home from a ministry meeting, I see blue lights in my review mirror, yet again! My thoughts... "twice in one day, for no apparent reason at all? Seriously?!? MAN, do cops have nothing better to do than to bug me?" he let me go with a "your brake lights are faint, you should get them checked out."

Moral of the story, I think I need someone to check out my brake lights, someone other than a police officer. The Police officers have checked them out enough in one day, for my comfort level! If I get pulled over one more time, and the cop says one word about my brake lights, I'll probably scream, at Satan, for bothering me SO MUCH! So much for protecting us from criminals...

Quotes I feel

So these are some quotes that I've been feeling are completely true in my life right now... thought it'd be fun to share :) 


"there will always be a part of me that misses him and wishes we could be together."


"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, because for me, it happens all the time."


"Use your smile to change the world, but don't let the world change your smile."


"I'm having a really hard time getting over you. The worst part is, I never even dated you."

"Please don't be in love with someone else."

"It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I shouldn't care about you, but I do. I should hate you, but I don't."

"I don't know if I could ever stop liking you..."

"That feeling you get in your stomach when you see him."

"If I died tomorrow, what one thing would you want me to know?"

"If you love me let me know, if you don't let me go."

"Our small, stupid conversations mean so much more to me than you'll ever know."

"I hope you get all the things you want in life. ...I just wish I could be one of those things."

"I want someone who I can be a complete dork with."

"Sometimes we have to fight for what we love and care about. But sometimes, we have to find the strength to let it go"

"I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn't work."

"Smile and let the world wonder why."

"I start to forget you and then someone says your name or something smells like you or someone has your smile and I lose all progress."

"I want someone who will look at me everyday, like it's the first time they've ever saw me."

"I don't want us to be strangers."

My wish for him... A part of me will always love him.

this song keeps coming back to me, every time I hear it, I think of a specific person, so I just felt I should dedicate it to him. Name will not be posted... sorry all, you'll never know :P! 

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' ?til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
(My wish for you)

This is my wish
(My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you
(My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big
(My wish for you)

My Athens

Last week I found myself having to suddenly pick up and move... no longer was I able to stay where I was living. Though it was extremely stressful, the Lord worked it all out for the better. I no longer have to drive the hour to Athens 3 days a week! I'm super excited about this fact... Saves me gas money, woohoo!! So I say hello to my new home... Athens, GA. Though it's only temporary, I have to say, I LOVE my new apartment. Here are some pictures... The fountain, and the entry!

No Words, just listen

"What You're Looking For" -Kyler England

Enough said.... 

Experiencing Miracles

Have you ever heard that song:

Satan is a snake and a BIG FAT liar,
we're gonna kick him in the lake of fire!
Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah, Jesus LIVES IN ME!

??????

I feel like I have constantly had to sing this song OVER and OVER again for the past couple months.

It seems to me a problem occurs, I pray about it, the Lord answers my prayers and fixes the problem, then satan brings another problem along. All these things occurring, are things I would never be able to deal with without the Lord's involvement. Not that things didn't happen in the past, but they are occurring more often than not these days, and I have to call "Oh Lord Jesus!! Lord Jesus I love you!! Thank You for all Your blessings. Thank You for giving me such amazing friends. Thank You for providing for all my needs everyday, even in the smallest way!!"

Even though Jesus is no longer walking on this earth... I experience His miracles everyday. I am a very blessed child of God. I thank God for showing me how much He loves me moment by moment, day by day!

Reflections

Recently I was babysitting a friends kids, one of my girlfriends was with me (just hanging out), a child of 7 met us both, and said in these exact words "Let me guess (pointed at me), you're married?!? Then looked at my friend and said "And You're still a teenager?!" LOL... I was completely tickled at her exclamation, it's given me many laughs every time I think of it. My friend is about to be 21 this week (so 3 years past teenagerdom), and I am 26 and single.

After this little episode of a cute little girl having her first impression of "older" people... I have been thinking of what she said "you're married"...

Why am I not married? I have lots of answers for this question. I have been proposed to by 3 different people, one of which actually proposed on 3 separate occasions. This being said, I came to find out none of these men were right for me in the long run. None of them were my soul-mate. The Lord at some point revealed to me that they just were not "THE ONE." So why even continue those relationships? I didn't, which is why I am still single. I'm in love with the Lord right now, and I'm waiting for His leading in the matters of the heart. I have all faith that when He does allow "The One" into my life, He will reveal to me somehow that he is the one.... the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with, who I will hopefully, Lord willing grow old with. I know that because I have had faith in the Lord, and left it all up to His timing and His will, I will love that person more than if I was to have just married anyone out of my choices in the past.

I have had people ask me out throughout the years, and I've wanted to date them, but with inside me I couldn't say yes. Because I knew from the Lord's leading and feelings on this matter, those men weren't good for me, or right for me. The Lord has yet to bring me the one, that I know of....

I met a man the other day, he asked me out on a date, and he was one of those men that is "perfect." I within myself would have loved to go, get to know him, see where it leads. But I have had enough experience in my life to know that.. When I put my love life into my own hands, the end result is always the same, and I'm back where I started from, with a broken, hurt, and bruised heart, some great memories, but enough bad ones for me to know better than to be back in that relationship. Then there is the healing process that we all have to go through...

The Healing process: one reason why I feel like so many woman don't even want to be with someone anymore, because of all the trouble and problems relationships cause. The drama, the never ending psychological factor of trying to figure out: what he's thinking, why doesn't he call, why doesn't he return my texts, does he really care? all these are the questions that could drive anyone in their right mind crazy. The answers are simple: You don't ever REALLY want to know what a man is thinking. He doesn't call sometimes because he's working, he might be thinking about it or you but really can't get away to make that call in the middle of the day. He isn't texting you back right now because, he's at work, in a meeting, or just really busy, he'll text when he CAN. Of course he cares, if he didn't he wouldn't waste his time putting any effort into a relationship with you, he would NEVER call, NEVER write, ALWAYS ignore, and treat you like you DON'T exist.

Women: we are the most needy creatures in the entire universe. WE NEED ATTENTION! I have a couple male friends that are the same way, needy, always needing the attention on them, not knowing why so and so isn't responding...  We think the world revolves around us, and sometimes it does, OUR world at least does. I only joke when I say "the world revolves around me, didn't you know?" all my really good friends know this :). The world does not revolve around one specific person. Wouldn't that be weird?? I have learned to just LET EVERYTHING GO... You can not control everything. One person should not be able to ever control everything, that would be horrible. If you let things go eventually you'll get your answers, they may not be the ones you wanted or expected but the end result is always going to be what it was supposed to be in the end, because EVERYTHING is in God's hands. If you stop trying to control every detail in your life, you will live a much happier, enjoyable, stress free life. 

With all those things said. I have given my love life to God to take care of. I have been single for 3 years now, of which is by choice. Not that I like being single, no one likes being alone. It's just better right now to just trust in the Lord with all my heart and love Him over and above all else (which is something that will not change), it's something I have had to learn and spend time doing. I am waiting on the Lord to reveal and bring me my husband. Until then, I don't want to have a relationship with anyone, that is more than just friends. The Lord, that I love with all my heart is the one true husband to me right now. I talk to Him moment by moment, day by day, He is my best friend, He know's my heart, He knows all the desires of my heart, and He will grant me what is His will for me in His timing. For His timing is perfect in every way. Though I am an impatient person sometimes, the Lord is teaching me how to be patient.

Someday God will give me what is mine. I have Faith!

Reading

When I want to get some reading done, and REALLY read... I have to go to a coffee shop, or somewhere that is not a home. I have found that if I read at a friends house or apartment even if I'm alone, I get distracted and can't get to reading. I now understand the coffee shop concept... I could sit in a coffee shop for 8 hours reading, and the only reason I get up is to use the restroom or to get a drink. I can get lost in a book to the point where I've forgotten to eat. I forgot how much I really love to read. I have rediscovered my love for reading. Here's to living in a coffee shop or somewhere else fun to read for the next few months! (if only I was making money whilst reading!!)....

Life's complications

I feel at a loss and confused. Now that my life is up in the air. Constant confusion is not good for someone.

I'm at a cross roads in my life. I am about to start school again, In the fall. the summer has started, and I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm looking for a summer job, and waiting to hear back from a place this week. Crossing the fingers...

Summer jobs are fun. They don't get boring, because you're not there long enough for it to get boring!

So in the mean time I am keeping myself busy. I have a summer reading list that I am working on of 9 different books, and I know I will enjoy them all immensely!

Working on a summer "tan." Haha! how "tan" can a redheaded Irish woman get?!?...

So my life right now is... Up in the air!

I will feel more grounded in a few weeks, I have faith.

I'm loving my Lord to the fullest extent, or at least trying to. It's a daily battle that will go on for the rest of my life. But for now, "Lord Jesus I love You! I have faith that You will make Your path for my life clear to me. For now I'm just going to abide in Your perfect comforting embrace!"

Here is a picture of my adorable niece and I!

"Time to wait" -Ner Tamin

I love this picture by Ner Tamin called "Time to wait." It is very symbolic to me. I love the yellow yield lights, and the people in the shadow's lingering that you can just make out. It reminds me of how God waits on us, to just turn to Him and look His way. I can just hear God saying "be patient my child, in time I will bring you all that your heart desires that I see fit for you to have!" 

My move

I moved last week. It's been 2 years, was about time. 

I packed up most my things in one day, taped up the boxes, and had my brother cart them off to storage for me. That was my little brothers birthday present to me ;)!

I packed most of my clothes in suit cases and put them in my car, drove off to my new abode. 

I'm liking my new room. There are many positives. I no longer feel like I have the basement apartment in a house where the upstairs is occupied by my mothers best friend (not such a bad thing btw). In my new home I feel more independent. I don't really HAVE to answer to anyone. I come and go as I please. I Just have to make sure and keep the house tidy.  (easiest thing in the world! Im a pretty clean person.) My house mate is a good friend, really easy and fun to live with. There is a community pool in our condominium complex. I'm looking forward to taking full advantage this summer :D 

It's kinda weird not working, but that will change soon.

I'm on a plane right now, flying to Minnesota for a two week vacation. I'm going to visit my niece Nora (one of my all time favorite persons), gonna get to meet my new niece Rebecca, who is now about 6 weeks I think. I'll get to see my sister and her husband, and his kids. And hopefully spend a few days with some cousins, that I love visiting when I'm in MN. 

Well that's all for now.

Concepts

So I've come to find that everyone sees things/people differently. 

You can sit and judge a person by what you see and hear about them, and not ever really know said person. 

What one person thinks is a  innocent conversation between two people. Another sees as flirting. 

Someone you consider to be a good friend. They consider you to be the person they are in love with and want to spend the rest of their life with. 

I look at it this way. You can judge anything by what you see, and it could be something completely different. When you are on the outside looking in, you really can not trust your own judgement, because you have NO idea what is really happening, or what is being said. Everyone is different, and you can not judge a book by its cover, or a person by what is said about them by someone else. 

I try not to judge people, especially by first impression, I wait and get to know you. I do not listen to what other people say about a person, because it's someone else's opinion, it is  exactly that "their opinion!" my opinion of said person could be completely different. 

Sometimes you think you know someone, sometimes that person is putting up a complete front for everyone, and only their closest friends know the real person! 

Be yourself. Be completely honest, to yourself and others. Communicate what you feel about any situation. Only believe something about someone, if it comes from that someone. 

Gossip is the root of all evil. 

I personally only listen and believe things when they are told to me by said person. When someone tells me something about so and so, I usually don't even pay attention. Because, like I said you cant believe everything you hear. Gossip is something I've learned to just ignore and cut off. 

Sometimes people's concepts of me are completely off base, and I feel bad for them, for prejudging me, and for not taking the time to get to know the real me. 

I love my friends, I love my family, I love God with all my heart. I put others before myself most of the time. I joke, I tease, I kid, I make fun of, I'm sarcastic... But with all that in mind, I care about people. I try and make others smile daily, and will go out of my way to do so. I pray and hope people will have only positive things to say or think about me. Maybe someday this will be so...

My Birthday March 26th, 2012

My birthday 3/26/2012

I woke up on a Monday morning thinking "MAN! Why is the weekend over?" only to realize my birthday fell on a dreaded Monday this year!! The only GOOD thing about Monday is the college meeting in Athens, which is always a highlight to the beginning of my week!

This past weekend there were over 700 believers of our Lord Jesus gathered for a annual spring south east blending christian conference, the weekend passed by WAY to fast. And was amazingly enjoyable. I was so happy to have so many friends in town. I didn't get to spend enough time with any of them. I was a taxi driver, to many... And I found myself really warn out the entire weekend! "stupid allergies!" But through it all,  it was a enjoyable weekend! That was what started my birthday week!! Thank You Lord for Your divine dispensing this past weekend! What a great way to start the week...

So back to my birthday ;) since its all about ME!! SO, Anyways... Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, it was Monday morning... (yuck!) hehe! 

I worked the usual 10 hour day, I actually got off a hour earlier than usual, which made my night! I immediately got in my car to drive the hour + that it takes in traffic to get to my favorite city in the world (Athens, GA), btw its more the people than the city, but I really do love Athens, it's just so quaint. I arrived just in time for dinner at "student station" (the meeting hall in Athens), and after dinner there was the meeting. We reviewed the first message of the conference from this past weekend. The title you ask? Or maybe you didn't... That's okay I'll tell you anyways :) "Experiencing the Pure Gold of the Lampstand"

Here are some main points:
I. The golden lampstand signifies the Triune God embodied and expressed, and the more we experience the detailed aspects of the Triune God depicted in the lampstand, the more we will become in reality the golden lampstand as the embodiment and expression of the Triune God—Rev. 1:12, 20.
II. The lampstand is of pure gold, signifying the divine nature, the eternal, incorruptible nature of God the Father—Exo. 25:31, 36:
III. We may gain God as the golden element of the lampstand by partaking of the divine nature—2 Pet. 1:4:
IV. We may gain God as the golden element of the lampstand by receiving the divine supply through “the sons of oil,” who carry out the new covenant ministry—Zech. 4:2-6, 11-14; 2 Cor. 3:6, 8; 4:12:
V. We may gain God as the golden element of the lampstand by paying the price to buy from the Lord “gold refined by fire”—Rev. 3:18a:

If you are interested in the entire outline, or even the conference messages here is a link to them:

http://m.box.com/view_shared/e47398a6cd7f6b11e2e9

After the meeting I drove back to Atlanta, to my favorite local Chick-fil-a where I enjoyed a birthday chocolate cookies and cream milkshake! Oh so yummy! 

My only request from the friends, that wanted to do something with me on my birthday, was to go bowling!! I LOVE bowling, and it was SO much fun :)! Four of my female friends came with me and we bowled for a hour. I won both games, which made me happy! Not happy that I could beat them, but that I won both games on my birthday! Kinda fun! :D 

I had two of my friends spend the night and we popped in a movie to watch before getting to bed around 3:30am. (I had to be up at 6:30am for work!). 

In the morning when they aroused from sleepville, I made my favorite breakfast, right now "french toast with berry butter!" oh so delish! 

Tonight after work, I went to dinner with my boss, her mother (the old lady I take care of), and my friend Lizzy D, at where else? "Chick-Fil-A" yes I'm a firm believer in eating somewhere often, what can i say!?! when you know what you like, you KNOW what you like! (she also gave me the option of somewhere close, and thats the BEST "close" place ;)!) I also hadn't had Chicky (dinner) since Thursday, so technically it had been "way to long" ;) 

Anyways.. To wrap it up, I had a great birthday, and it's not even half over! 

Tomorrow on my list, I'm making myself a birthday cake and having some people over for dinner. On the menu: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, spinach strawberry salad, and a "Twix cake" (for celebrating my bday)! Twix cake looks and sounds SO YUMMY! 

Looking forward to the year to come and all the surprises the Lord has in store for me this coming year! I love my God with all my heart, and have all faith this year will be one of the best, just like the last one was! 

Differences in people

Today I invited two different acquaintances of mine to a christian conference that is going on this weekend in Atlanta, GA. 

One of them was so happy, and said: "that's where it's at! Thanks Charity!! High five! I'll try my best to come!"

The second however said: "me and Christian conferences, they just don't go together. Sorry."

God knows who and what He wants. I felt discouraged... But I know, that i took a chance, and now it's in the Lord's hands. It is hard to know who and when the Lord wants me to speak to, but I'm just going to continue on and pray for them both. The Lord works miracles.  

Past, Present, Future!

Until recently... I don't think I truly knew how being in love with someone felt. I say this, because I am IN LOVE with someone currently, and it is a different kind of feeling. It's hard to explain. Being "in love" and "loving" someone is a totally different thing. I'm "in love" with the Lord Jesus! I've loved only a few men in my life, 4 to be exact. I've only been "in love" with just one! (that's not including men in my life that are really good friends, I love them too, I'm talking relationships that lead to more. Specifically marriage, babies, and family...) 

#1 My high school boyfriend, we were "together" for 4 years. We are still friends. He's now married, with a child on the way.

#2 My first adult boyfriend. We dated 6 months. But I have known him since I was 2. So it was a friendship that turned into a relationship, it just turned out we were better friends than anything else. We are still friends, and he just recently got married. 

#3 The boy that I thought was the one. But I was proved wrong on so many occasions. We were together 5 years!! I, to this day don't even say hi when I see him, he broke my heart and shattered it into a million pieces, then jumped on all the millions of pieces that he had thrown down not caring enough to pick them up and give them back to me and say I'm sorry. He has yet to this day, still not apologized for what he did to me. I personally know he's not a good guy. I do wish him well though, and pray that someday he will find the Lord again. I forgave him and moved on, even if he hasn't! life is too short to dwell on such a negative, I've learned from my mistakes. And I try and live my life the way I feel like God wants me to. He was a mistake, but I don't regret those years, I learned a lot of what I don't want in a husband from him. That is a really sad statement, "I learned a lot of what I don't want in a husband from him." but it is a completely true one! 

#4 The man I seriously fell for, I don't even really know him. I've never had the chance to get to know him, and I don't believe I ever will. I know his spirit. I pray for him everyday, that the Lord would do what His will is in his life. I am trying to move on... Just get over him... But I have not been able to. I'm hoping by writing this, it might help me in some way. In the mean time, I'm just throwing what love I do have for him towards the Lord, because I can't tell him "I love you," I show the Lord that i love Him! The Lord is the only one that gets me through my day to day life right now. Without the Lord I would most likely be a very miserable person. Loving someone without the same love returned really hurts and is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my life. I never knew something could hurt THIS much. To be honest, I have never been happier in my entire life. But I'm in MORE pain every day than I've ever been in my entire life. So to say the least... I dread seeing this person, and avoid him at all cost, but... Amen Lord! Your will be done! 

I am ready to be married. I am ready to have a husband. I NEED my life companion. I want to have a family someday.  

So for now... I have God. I love Him! He meets my every need. So even though I'm personally lonely in life right now. The Lord is by my side, He will never leave me! I pray everyday that the Lord brings me my perfect someone in His timing, His will, His one, His way! I have given my life fully to God, and will never let Him forget that! Lord keep me in the index of Your eyes!

Waiting on the Lord...

I'm a single and looking gal. Yes I'm looking, I admit it.  But who is single, and not looking? I havent always been single... But I have been for around 3 years now. It's not because no one is asking, it's because I want that perfect someone God has for me. I wasn't looking, at all until last August. Something happened, I'm not going to talk about that. Because to be honest, I'm still hurting from it. But i am going to say: i was a happily, fulfilled, busy woman. I wasn't lonely in the least. I'm still surrounded by all the same things. But for some reason the Lord put in me a desire in the last year, to want a husband. So because I now have this desire, and no husband or boyfriend to speak of... And no prospects... (or none that I feel from the Lord are right for me). I have the Lord as my Husband right now, so I cast all my “loneliness” on Him daily. And fill myself with His love, which is the only real pure love. I’ve been depending on on the Lord my whole life. Now I’m REALLY depending on Him to be sufficient for all my needs, cares, and wants.

The Lord will give me direction eventually. He will bring me my "perfect someone" in His perfect timing. I just have to keep my faith alive and keep my communication with Him moment by moment, day by day. I keep asking Him why...? He will eventually answer all my questions, in one way or another.

 In the last year of my life I have been struggling, struggling to trust in Him for His perfect timing and His perfect will. The results I have found, they have caused my love and relationship with the Lord to just grow deeper. I get to the point where I give up, give it fully to the Lord, and that’s when the Lord comes in and takes care of it fully and even better then I could have ever imagined.

With that said… I will just keep asking, and He’ll answer in His timing. The Lord Loves us more then He can ever show us, sometimes we aren’t paying attention and He does things to make our lives that much better. He is the only one that can satisfy all our needs. I will be patient, keep loving, and no matter what just treat Him like the best friend I've always wanted and have had all along. I will love the Lord whole heartedly. He will bring me everything I need and more in time. And it will all be perfect, because I trusted in Him for everything! 

Artist of the Week: Kyler England

Somehow, I randomly came across this artist "Kyler England" of the "Rescues" I have no-clue why I have not discovered her before. But I am SO HAPPY, that I now know about her. She is my new ultimate favorite female vocalist! She is an amazing singer/song writter I'm loving her songs. Every song that I have heard by her so far, has touched me in some way or form. Take a listen. Here are some of my favorites, and a little bio video.

"I Need You Now" - Kyler England

"When the World Stops Spinning" -Kyler England

"Eye of Your Storm"  - Kyler England



Songs that I love!

I discovered Molly Pardon last summer (2011) at "Park Tavern" in Midtown, ATL, GA. I went to another private concert at "Eddie's Attic" to see Micheal Perryman Jones, in Nov. last year. She was the opening act again!! I was extremely impressed by her amazingly unique voice. I love those voices that just stand out, because they are different than anyother you have ever heard. What a beautiful person. When I met her, she was just as I had imagined she would be. She is a Christian singer, a very sweet and caring person. She is SO nice! So this is a recording of her that I got singing her song called: "travellin souls" Enjoy!

Just in case you don't know who Matthew Perryman Jones is... He is a singer who lives in Nashville, TN. He went to my church as a teenager, so alot of my friends and I know him. Here is one of my favorites by him. "Save you" 

Birthday Month :D

My Birthday is this month, March 26th. I'm not gonna tell you my age, age is just a number. But ever since I have been an "adult" I have a tridition of making myself feel special every day of the month of March, weather it be buying something or making something. That way when no one else buy's me presents, I feel okay about it... because I got 31 ;) JK.. Jokes. I just like making myself feel loved (sometimes), and I currently don't have a husband or boyfriend or male in my life that can or will, so I have to do it myelf ;)Maybe someday God will bring me that perfect someone, and he can make me feel loved everyday of the year, as I will make him feel like that way for everyday of his life for the rest of his life :D! So here are a few things I have done for myself!... judge if you must... but you know youre just jealous!

 bought some beautiful ear rings! $6.99

 went and saw "The Lorax" in IMAX with my friend Erin H. $18

Bought a new Nintendo Iphone 4 case off of Amazon $1.62

made myself a scarf and matching hat (my sister bought me the yarn, free)

Made myself a Hat, which I LOVE (my sister bought this yarn for me too, so free)

My sister recently had another baby girl, her name is Rebecca Doris (named after my late Grandma Doris Holloway, we only just lost her 7 months ago.) These pictures were a present :)

Pour-over coffee at "Two Story, Coffee house" in Athens, GA. This had to be one of the best cups of coffee I've had since living in europe :) $2.62

I finally broke down and bought myself a Georgia Bulldogs hoody, when the price is right.. what can I say? $18

Went and got a manicure, $12

I dyed my hair, Orange/Red with Blonde Highlights. $5

I'm buying a airline ticket this week to go visit my nieces and other relatives in April, in Minneapolis and Rochester, Minnesota. I can't wait to meet my new niece, and see Nora the beautiful! I really miss my family. Priceless! 

Last night I went to visit my little brother.

I miss my family more then words can discribe.

I'm going to be buying a ticket at the end of the month to go see my parents in Cali this summer. And to attend a semi-annual training in Anaheim, CA. I have friends graduating from a two year christian school out there. So I'll be getting to attend their graduation also :)

Priceless

I registered my car this past week, first time I've ever had to do that. it was surprisingly really easy :). $62

This past weekend I spent in Athens, GA that in itself was a treat. But to top it all off... I had friends from FL, TN, CA, TX, NC all there for a Christian Conference I attended. $80

 One of the best weekends of my life. To be perfectly honest, it was the best weekend of my life. I gained SO much. Met some new people, and just really enjoyed myself.
It really was PRICELESS!

I made a decision yesterday, that I think is or might be a good one. But only time will tell. I might enlighten you someday, but for now, I'm keeping my secret!



Song of the week: We are young, we set the world on fire!

The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it! I met Janelle Monáe at Emory a couple years ago when she made a guest apperance at my good friends orchestra concert. Such talent should be heard!

I would love to sing this song on karaoke. Enjoy!

One day of my life... Awesomeness!!

Yesterday I had one of those... I love my life... I'm so happy right now... Wow God has blessed me with so much... Can anything be better then this? Kind of days!

It was my random day off. Because of it being "presidents day." 

My older sister Alissa had her 2nd baby yesterday. Rebecca Doris Greising. Named after my late Grandma Doris Holloway, who we just lost last sept. Im SO happy!! I cant wait to meet her in april! She was born at 6:31pm 2/20/2012 7lb 1oz 19 1/2 my sister Alissa and baby are doing good. 
That was just one highlight, here are some more...

I made cookies for my friends at Chick fil a, and brought them to CFA when I went to dinner with my friend Lizzy. When handing them over to Nick (manager)... "Charity made... COOKIES!" ...wow... Just wow... the smiles of appreciation and excited people was worth the 30 mins it took to make them :). "what kind? YEY! Yummy!" "OMG... those cookies MADE my night, thanks SO MUCH!" "oh man, what are these? they are SO GOOD!"  "seriously? Best cookies EVER!" 
...Seriously?... Can people really be that happy about cookies? I mean, I knew they would be appreciated, but really? THAT happy? 

When people get that excited about random acts of kindness, it makes me think... How many of these people, have people showing them random kindness? So, it makes me want to show random acts of kindness even more!! I love making people smile. 

I got to have a three way Skyping 2 hour chat with my mom and little sister Hannah. I miss my family all the time, daily. So it was super awesome, and nice to have that time.  My sister Hannah and I have started reading ministry books together, which I love, it's great having that connection with my baby sister. 

I got a massage, from my massage therapist. I'm in pain today and I found bruises. But it was worth it, because I know I'll feel better later. 

I got invited to a wedding where two of my friends are marrying each other. Jumping up and down excited...!! Screaming excited!! 

Seriously love my life. As if a beautiful baby girl niece coming into this world wasn't enough good, happy news.. The Lord found it in His huge heart to allow all that other great stuff happen :). What a great way to start ones week!  

Keep them coming Lord!...

Song of the week "I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise

There's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not

And who I am

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)

God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)

We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)

God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

Watching someone so passionate about music is very inspiring, to me. I love seeing a artist in action, you can really feel how much he enjoys and feels the meaning of the song and the words coming from his mouth. I really love this song. Hope I can sing it to someone someday.

Reflections. The good and the bad!

After observing people for so long... One has to wonder... "what are they thinking?" 

Some people have a good life. Some people have a ordinary life. Some people are just miserable for their entire lives. Some people have the time of their life daily. Some people live life to it's fullest potential, daily. 

I'm the later.. I live life to its full potential, daily! I am what you would call, "a over all rounded person." I love my life. I love my friends. I couldn't ask for a better family, i love them whole heartedly. I live my life with the view of: I'm going to have a great day, and make someone smile that normally wouldn't! I don't ever want to live a day without at least smiling once. I laugh, all the time. And I try and make people laugh that normally wouldn't.

I wonder how someone could live life, and not be happy. If you're not happy, find out why, and fix the problem. Find something that makes you happy. Because why would life be worth living if you're NOT happy? You only have one chance at life, and if you're lucky, you take life one step at a time and live it day to day. I don't see any other way. Every day brings something new to the plate, and you kind of have to take it as it is. Enjoy the good, Learn from the bad. 

Make no mistakes, I have had my good and bad days. I just choose to learn from the bad, and move on from it. I don't like to dwell on negative. Everyone has negative things going on in their lives. It's how you learn and deal with it, then move on from it that matters. The good is what counts. 

I have learned that most people remember the bad things that happen to them. How can you not? Something dramatic, or impressionable that impacts you're life... It's hard to forget something like that. But if you take the bad, learn from it and move on... Keep living life, and be happy with it. That's what matters! 

I wish that we could all take the good and remember that. The good things in life are amazingly awesome :)!! 

I have a list of things that make me happy. When something bad happens to me, I go back to the good things and say... "there is something good." I don't dwell on the bad, because if I did i would be a one miserable person!! I like being the happy person that I am. Living life day by day, thanking God for the blessings He has given me. Someday I will be so happy people will hate me for it. But you know what? I'm already one of the happiest people alive, and I would hope people would see that and ask me why. And I'll tell you now, why I am such a happy person. I have the most wonderful person in my life. His name is Jesus. He's my saving grace daily, My best friend, And my husband for always. He makes me smile daily and is always with me no matter what. He helps me through the  good the bad and the ugly. He is the reason I usually have a smile on my face. For without Him I would be nothing.  

My Perfect Valentines Day!

I often times wonder what people think of me. I'm always happy and most the time have a smile on my face. I can not find a good reason to be depressed, even if I try really really hard!! People often times will tell me I'm one of the happiest people they know, and they want to know my secret. I have no secrets... I just try and live every day like it's my last. I don't really care what people think of me. I know I can be goofy, crazy, sweet, bluntly honest, totally insane. But I really do love life. I laugh ALL the time, and I'm blessed with some of the greatest friends a woman could ever ask for!

So when everyone is hating Valentines day because they are single... or because they have to find something special and extra ordinary to do for their other half...  I'm thinking of ways to make my close single friends feel like they are loved beyond words! Because this was my very first Valentines day where I didn't have a date, I was open minded about it. It's not like I didn't have people ask me, it's that the right person didn't ask me.

 So yesterday I made a chocolate cake with cream chesse baked into it, with a chocolate ganche frosting, topped with a chocolate heart. I took it to my local hang out spot to give to the employee's! This is something that I do at least twice a week. I like making desserts, so I make them for people I know will appreciate them. They love me for it, and I'm currently one of their favorite patrons. One actually calls me her "favorite person." :). I look at it from this angle: it's the little things that count, the little acts of kindness you do without expecting anything in return. They are the most gratifying, and put a smile on your face as well as other peoples. Putting a smile on someone elses face makes me happy. I live to make people smile, and try for at least one a day!

I also made strawberries dipped in chocolate for one of my best friend's, whom I had a dinner date with. We go out at least 3 times a week together (to Chick fil a), and I wanted to show her how much I appreciate her. As decoration, I cut out red and pink hearts and wrote one word decriptions of things that she is to me. She loved it, Laughed SO hard at the card I had written, that I thought she might just faint if she didn't stop laughing to breath :)!

I walked into Chick Fil A, and immediately sat down with her. I was getting ready to go get my food, and my favorite person just happens to walk up with two very pretty pink chick fil a ice cream cones. He says "Happy Valentines Day, to my two favorite ladies..." He is too sweet (and it helps that he is a hunk).

Later on I was taking the dessert I had made them all up to the counter, he was with another customer. But he took the time to glance over, get big eyed, and that was all I needed, I knew I had made his Valentines day :)!! Later on I believe what was said was... "your dessert once again tasted completely awesome and was very much needed, it made my night!"

It's things like these that make me feel loved, appreciated, and cared about. Because when someone goes out of their way to put a smile on your face, be it valentines day or not, you know they care enough to make the effort. If someone cares enough to make the effort to make you smile, you should know youre special to them.

So my very first single valentines day was a success! I had a great 13 hour work day, followed by a perfectly awesome date with a bestie. Enjoyed the company of some very handsome men. Enjoyed laughs and smiles all throughout the evening. I felt loved, appreciated and special... just like every woman should feel everyday of their life, be it Valentines day or not! 

Perfect Match

I don't know how to break this to you... Boys are stupid! I have come to the conclusion that men have no clue as to what they need or want. And they take their sweet time trying to figure it out!... I personally feel bad for all the women in this world, because it's sad that we have to deal with something/someone that can't make a good decision on their own, ever! Good luck girls!

I'm having a hard time believing there is a perfect match for me out there right now! Someone please encourage me, somehow, because I need it!! And if in fact there is... That perfect someone... My other half... My match in everyway... WHERE ARE YOU?! I NEED YOU! SAVE ME! This is my cry for help!

I am so frustrated with men, I GIVE UP!

K-roger after midnight

Go figure... Took a nap right after I got off working for 12 hours today, and now I can't sleep :(... Going to have to find a good movie on Netflix, because I've been reading the past 5 hours and there is only SO much reading one can do when sick!  

Ventured out into the world today, haven't been out since Monday!! Due to this random cold, that I somehow picked up from someone... It was 12:00am and I wanted food, had run out of airborne, and needed pick me up supplies! Because when I'm sick, I want certain items that make me feel better, but I didn't have the energy to get before now... I didn't feel like getting all dressed up, so I threw on a sweater over my oversized t-shirt I've lived in the past day (I don't like dwelling in clothes, even when sick, i change at least once a day). And my boot slippers I recently bought, that I love! They are really cute!... Anywho... Back to my story... So I'm looking like I just jumped outta bed, because in reality, I just had! Who am I gonna run into at 12am in the morning at K-roger (yes I call Kroger "K-Roger")? You know who I ran into.... Crazy people! Yes I said it! There were some crazy people out and about in K-roger this morning!... 

I was walking towards the meds aisle, there was a man standing at the end of the aisle, and instead of bothering him to move outta the way (because I really don't have he energy to talk), I just went into the next aisle to look for something else I needed. Then proceeded to the aisle he was residing  in, he chose this moment to converse. "you know you could have asked me to move, you didn't have to go out of your way just so you didn't have to talk to me! I would have liked you to talk to me... What's your name? Mine is ... Nice to meet you! What are you doing out this late, I mean early on the morning?" ....
1st: I didn't go out of my way, I needed something 
2nd: worst pick up line I've heard this year!
3rd: what does it look like I'm doing?!?! I'm in a grocery store! I'm shopping, DUH! 
4th: by the contents of my arm cart, you can see I am not feeling too great
5th: I seriously JUST jumped out of bed to come here, why are you hitting on me? 
6th: as nice of a person you might just be, I'm not interested. And never will be... In you anyways! 
7th: like I stated earlier, I don't have the energy to talk to people right now, so my response was....

Just getting medicine, not feeling too great, and I couldn't sleep. I'm going to go check out now. Bye!...
He didn't get my name. 

Crazy people who shop late!! I've been one many times, but for some reason I've always kept to myself. Because when people that shop late start talking to me, somehow they always manage to creep me out! EVERY TIME! No joke!... 

Okay, off to find a good movie! :)

Being sick as a kid vs. as an adult

You know when you are a kid and you are sick, you love being sick because you get taken care of by your mommy and she caters to your every need? Well being sick as a kid and being sick as a adult are very different!

As a kid: you can stay in bed and watch movie after movie. And LOVE it!

As a adult: watching movie after movie just makes you tired and want to sleep more!

As a kid: your mommy brings you yummy soup/food 

As a adult: you have to make the yummy soup/food yourself, and you don't have the energy! 

As a kid: when sick, sleep is the last thing on your mind...

As a adult: when sick, sleep is the only thing on your mind...

As a kid: staying home is SO much fun

As a adult: you have to make yourself go to work, because you can't really stay home sick!

As a kid: i dont want to get better, because when tomorrow comes all the fun and games will be over with. 

As an adult: I want to get better, so I can get up for work the next day and do it without having to feel like I'm sick as a dog. 

Life as a child was so much easier... Where did the time go? 

I love my life! I hate being sick!!